In our mental health supervision Dr. Dong posted an article titled "Mindfulness and Self-Acceptance" from the Journal of Rational-Emotive and Cognitive Behavior Therapy. I took some time today and gave it a read through and found that it contained a lot of great information about the components of mindfulness and self-acceptance, along with some brief steps to working towards it. I got quite a bit out of this article and wanted to share what I felt was pertinent.
Definitions and breaking down the concepts
-Mindfulness: a flexible cognitive state that results from drawing novel distinctions about the situation and the environment.
This is the process of being actively engaged in the present moment with sensitivity to context and perspective. Active exploration is free of judgement and an open state of mind.
The opposite of this state is mindlessness which is a state of rigidity in which one adheres to a single perspective and acts automatically. These mindless thought-processes and actions are governed by routines, rules, and previously constructed categories.
The article stresses the importance of authenticity, appropriate self-evaluation, looking at mistakes in a different light, steering away from social comparisons, and rethinking rigid categories.
-Authenticity: this is being fully engaged with the environment and paying attention to novel aspects of each situation, instead of working to win the approval of others/supporting fragile self-esteem through doing/saying/acting in a way that you think others expect you to.
Being unauthentic usually occurs because you are trying to avoid criticism/loss of self-esteem and/or to win praise and increase positive self-esteem.
Studies have found that when an individual acts not authentically and receives praise, they actually experience a reduction in self-esteem because the praise was directed at their pretend behavior and/or qualities that are not what they are, but what they are not.
There is a flip side to this! It can be beneficial for an individual to act "as if" they are something different than they currently are in an attempt to act as their own role model to alter a bad habit/trait. For example, someone who is trying to quit smoking cigarettes may take a day to "act as a non-smoker", responding to situations in a way a non-smoker would, and gaining the emotional experience of being a non-smoker. This experience of role play can lead to a positive self-fulfilling prophecy.
-Evaluation: people have the tendency to view other people's opinions/viewpoints as objective, instead of realizing that everyone is coming from their own place of experiences, issues, and needs. We therefore can internalize what others say about us as absolute truths, when in fact our viewpoint of ourselves is just as valid as any other viewpoint. Self-evaluation is a choice. When you choose to look at your behavior from multiple perspectives you may be able to accept those actions that caused pain, learn from them, and not repeat them in the future.
-Mistakes: The article puts forth the notion that "good" mistakes are those from which you can learn something of value, and "bad" mistakes are those that you are afraid to face. Every mistake can be learned from and has the potential to help you grow, depending on how you look at it. Looking at a mistake mindfully allows you to observe it from several perspectives that can help provide new knowledge, motivate you to change, and can be an opportunity to teach others a lesson as well.
Mistakes tend to be interpreted when "one goes off the predetermined course." The article defined a predetermined course as "navigating through a static world based on preconceived notions of how the world "is"." The world, however, is always changing! No matter how hard you attempt to hold it still and hold onto your preconceived notions, there will always be change and motion. Going off the course can be an opportunity to learn lessons and have opportunities you may not have been presented with otherwise.
-Social Comparisons: Access to media today allows for a constant bombardment of unrealistic images of beauty and physical perfection. Needless to say this often times has a negative effect on self esteem and how one views themselves. These comparisons can influence how you conceptualize your self worth. There is one situation in which social comparisons can be beneficial. If the comparison is looking at something that is seen as attainable, the comparison can serve to be motivating and inspirational.
-Rigid Categories: Living in a mindset of mindlessness relies on rigid categories and distinctions founded in the past. The world is constantly changing and offering opportunities to create new categories in which to view the world. People fall into the trap of labeling themselves as "a pretty person", a "rich person", or an "elderly person", in stead of viewing themselves as a person with innate self worth.
-Accepting Ourselves: The world created for each individual is a sum of the decisions made. Accepting responsibility for each private world and making changes mindfully is a huge step towards self acceptance. Taking ownership of your life helps one to re-frame past experiences and mistakes and see the possibilities for improvement and future change. Viewing your life from several perspectives and within the current context allows for unconditional acceptance.
Techniques for Mindful Self-Acceptance
(1) Actively observe novel distinctions
(2) Think for yourself as a "work of progress"
(3) Contemplate puzzles and paradoxes
(4) Add humor to the situation
(5) View the situation from multiple perspectives
(6) Consider alternative understandings of problematic aspects of yourself
(7) Keep a catalog of moments of joy
(8) Start a "mindfulness" journal
Sources
Carson, S. H., Langer, E. J. (2006). Mindfulness and self-acceptance. Journal of Rational-Emotive and Cognitive Behavior Therapy, 24 (1).
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