Anger and Forgiveness

Hello everyone! I hope all is well and you are getting proper sleep and managing stress well. The subject I would like to reflect on today is forgiveness.

I recently have experienced a theft from a roommate who moved out. Having dealt with lots of previous issues with her, this sent me over the edge into intense anger and resentment.

So where do you go from there? What do you do when you feel wronged and find the anger resulting from issues consuming and having a negative impact on your emotional health?

The first thing that is helpful: deep breathing exercises. I personally find it helpful to light a candle first. Sit in a quiet place and breath deeply from your diaphragm. In for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts, out for 8 counts. Repeat a few times until you feel more calm. This helps to clear you head space. If you are involved in any sort of spirituality it will help with meditation or prayer.

Repeat a calming or relaxing phrase to yourself, such as "relax." Keep repeating this while breathing deeply.

Stay focused on your goals. Yes, this situation is infuriating, but what responsibilities do you have to take care of. Pour you energy into spoiling your pets, completing assignments, or cleaning to help create a peaceful environment.

This is one of my favorite anecdotes regarding anger:

It is said that one day the Buddha was walking through a village. A very angry and rude young man came up and began insulting him, saying all kind of rude words.

The Buddha was not upset by these insults. Instead he asked the young man, “Tell me, if you buy a gift for someone, and that person does not take it, to whom does the gift belong?”

The young man was surprised to be asked such a strange question and answered, “It would belong to me, because I bought the gift.”

The Buddha smiled and said, “That is correct. And it is exactly the same with your anger. If you become angry with me and I do not get insulted, then the anger falls back on you. You are then the only one who becomes unhappy, not me. All you have done is hurt yourself.”

Do not forget to love yourself and forgive yourself for the anger you have felt. And work towards letting that anger go and forgiving the person who has hurt you. 

To quote Ted Mosby from the wonderful show "How I Met Your Mother":

"You may think your only choices are to swallow your anger or to throw it in someone's face. But there is a third option, you can just let it go. And only when you do that is it really gone, and you can move forward."

Sources:

http://beingraluca.com/someone-doesnt-accept-gift-gift-belong/

http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/controlling-anger.aspx

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